I've Got Summink to Say

Tag: life

  • Don’t worry Prof. Moncrieff

    You’ve got nothing to worry about Joanna, It’s true that my family are the hardest, nuttiest, family ever which is why we were always the very best at what we did, but other people are brilliant too and I got played for a fool as well but what you have to know is if I die I was the one the King wanted to die so you were just part of the plan and you’ve nothing to worry about, your life is in no danger as long as you just carry on being yourself and everyone knows mistakes happen and lessons get learnt so give me a bell when you want.

    You have to understand a lot of the most brilliant people in the world are scared of me because they know I’m also the most intelligent person that has ever lived so far and that makes me the most dangerous person in the world so I just hope they think I’m useful enough to keep alive and thinking. I actually solved Fermat’s last theory and now there are three theories of the origins of the universe instead of two.

    Frankly the best I can do is put me best whistle on, toddle off to London and pay my respects old skool stylee.

    If you really fantasise about having a lesbian threesome just go to a G.A.Y bar and try one, no one gives a shit about what sex you enjoy as long as it’s legal and consenual. I decided to just try and fulfill all my fantasies and If you’d known me when I was living on my yacht even the Russian mafia got pissed off with me because 4 of their most beautiful prostitutes decided to have 5 of my kids because those women understand that most Englishmen are either too scared, too old, too drunk or too violent to appreciate a beautiful woman is a beautiful woman. The only one they thought I might be was too drunk and I never was, even after 10 pints.

    Here’s one foe Sharky Steve:

    If any any of you are still worried eat a tuna sandwich and if you want to laugh out loud loud drink a couple of pints of orange juice.

    Back Later…

  • F.A.O old joanna moncrieff

    And anyone worldwide who reads this blog

    I knew you’d lied to me from the first meeting but I thought you had just made a mistake so I gave you the benefit of the doubt.

    I now know you gave me Paliperidone even after I said I’d kill anyone who ever stuck it in me (middle finger up to that)

    However there’s more than one way I can skin you and therefore I have decided to both pay privately for a full blood screen and to look specifically for Paliperidone and also a full health check.

    You should also be aware that all of you seem to think you can break any law even if it includes murder.

    None of you seem to realise that the Lampard Inquiry is the very top of the Government telling you all must change.

    I worked for the Government and I know that every email, every phone call you have ever made is recorded.

    If I die as a result of deliberately abusive treatment I didn’t ever want or need they may just come after you. At the very least there are likely going to be a large number of job cuts.

    In prison you may just get all the lesbian threesomes you desire to your heart’s content.

    You may also learn what true marxism is all about in the prison laundry when you earn £1 each and every time you get a fist.

    Under no circumstances will I engage with you or any member of your appalling service again.

    I believe in God and you should consider that if you believe that there is a psyche causing voices and not the scientific theory that it’s caused by a hormone imbalance in the neurons that there may be an immortal soul and eternal damnation.

    p.s joanna you’ve been stitched up good an’ proper because you have no hope of avoiding life imprisonment without parole but you have chosen death because you are criminally insane and will be put on antipsychotics until your liver and kidneys fail and don’t bother thinking about troubling us again because my dad and his brother have both killed more people than the 50 you wanted to.

  • Just Because You’re Paranoid…

    It’s not quite 4am here and having been put back on 40mg of Depixol I have found that I am getting increasingly stupid in thought, many of the things that I had great pleasure in reading and trying to understand, anthropology, philosophy, poetry, foreign languages, science are becoming a memory so this morning’s missive from the massive is more of a bitter rant at the injustice of it all and the corruption that permeates my life.

    In the previous incarnation of my blog I posted that I had been diagnosed as having autism spectrum disorder (whilst on remand in the psychiatric wing of Pentonville prison of all places) and given family history and my own understanding of myself it seems like a good assessment. At 53 I’m only so bothered about the diagnosis, I’ve got by this far one way or another but did want the diagnosis formalised simply because I am considering trying to return to work next year and can blame everything on myself without HR being able to do a damn thing about me.

    But this is where I come on to the main subject of my post: who the hell is out to get me?

    It sounds paranoid, particularly from someone who has spent time worrying that MI5 had taken an interest in them some years ago. On that front I would say that the reason for that was time I spent arguing the toss online over the Blair administration’s policy of mass open door immigration and multiculturalism which I never approved of, preferring a smaller, targeted immigration policy. The point is I appeared to occasionally have an appealing way with words and got picked up on and quoted by the conservative press (Daily Telegraph and Daily Mail). That is, my fears that I had come to authority attention were maybe not entirely without foundation.

    But on the other hand as far as I can see I’ve also led a largely blameless life, trying to get by the way I was brought up to, an ordinary day’s work, a trip to the pub after with friends and colleagues, none of whom were likely to have been any bother to anyone themselves.

    That brings me on to NELFT mental health services. Firstly I would say I truly regret trusting the NHS and psychiatry, they have ruined important years of my life and having ended up in a dispute with them at a time when they are under intense scrutiny for the parlous, sometimes fatal, standard of their care and their reputation for corruption, crime and cover ups I wonder whether once again they haven’t decided to far exceed their legal powers to brush me aside.

    For example a large amount of important paperwork from them has simply disappeared from my room as has my passport (I was exploring the possibility of leaving England to claim asylum elsewhere to escape the NHS). I will now have a far harder time proving many (but not all) of their lies and falsehoods, a number of which are criminal in nature.

    Also, although I am trying hard to like my new psychiatrist I’m not convinced she’s playing with an entirely straight bat and inconsistencies which stop being deniable if assessments are voice recorded are starting to crop up.

    I do not wish to take antipsychotic medication any more, when I got off it fully the hard way I was in fantastic mental and physical health, but fear there is an attempt at damage limitation, writing off the last two disastrous years as merely a medication problem whilst trying to hide the fact I never should have been on antipsychotics for any of the previous years.

    I’ve chosen paper mache

  • Smoking Sensation

    Please note: I am not a medical professional or nutritionist, these are only my own ideas. However, I’m willing to bet your Doctor would tell you it was fine to bite the head off a live bat if it stopped you smoking.

    I’ve been feeling generally a lot more positive lately and I am hoping to make it my new year’s resolution to quit smoking (I managed to quit for 14 years cold turkey when I was younger but eventually started again).

    Working with the knowledge that improvements in health and nutrition are vital in keeping the body’s hormones balanced I started thinking of a few changes that I could make to help which goes back to some of my earlier posts.

    I intend to also have nicotine replacement therapy to hand, I’ve found a couple of these effective in the past, particularly the mouth sprays and inhalators but if you want to try NRT find the one that suits you, there’s also patches and gum.

    But on to the dietary changes I think could help me bearing in mind that nicotine stimulates dopamine in the brain.

    Looking at the Nicotinell website the fruits and vegetables they are recommending are all summer fruits and vegetables. My theory (untested) is that these will lower dopamine and make quitting harder (I have a theory that dopamine and acetylcholine may work in opposition to each other to balance out).

    What to eat when quitting smoking | Nicotinell UK

    This is what I’m going to try then:

    To start the day with a strong coffee in the morning before breakfast and a couple of squirts on the mouth spray. A glass of orange juice after breakfast. A glass of orange juice after a lunch with winter veg, and some nuts in the evening. I intend to use the mouth spray as required and I’m certain positive thought will help, it’s known to.

    Of course it makes a lot of sense to listen to your body so if you crave an apple, eat one.

    You and I will just have to wait until at least February to see how I get on.

  • Egrets, I’ve Shot a Few

    The final part of the musical interlude and it’s a sort of reminiscence starting recently and going back to primary school.

    Even my housewife sister has this on CD, why had I not heard this until a week ago. Wet Leg are from the Isle of Wight, wet legs are from the mainland.

    This next one reminds me of a couple of summers ago, sitting outside the library at 2 in the morning sharing a roll up with an autistic teenager who had her plans to go to university destroyed by Goodmayes a few months after me. It broke my heart to see the state they left her in. It’s a very long track but well worth the listen. Superb.

    Placebo have been around donkey’s years and they’re still releasing material. This is an old track but I still like it.

    Going back a bit, this stoner rock band are cool. Reminds me of the time I spent working for a fund manager in London.

    This is an acoustic track by Tyla of one of his old Dogs D’amour tracks, my girlfriend at the time absolutely hated everything about this album.

    This takes me back to when I got back from Australia and rented a 2 bed flat with a friend, he got me into this band over endless vodka, pizza and Playstation Worms sessions.

    One or two people at university thought this should be my anthem, back then I used to measure distances in Marlboro red; it wasn’t a 20 minute walk, it was 4 Marlboro red.

    My sister’s boyfriend introduced me to metal so something a bit different in that genre.

    Back to school days and there are quite a few I could choose but went for Ultravox. Back then the TV news scared us ragged that the Russians were about to nuke us.

    Even further back to primary school and one of the best bands of that era.

    Finally! some Chas ‘n’ Dave. I actually used to go down to Margate with my whole family including nana Jackson in dad’s old Hillman Minx. Penny slots on the pier, Dreamland, ice cream and a sea full of raw sewage.

    Time for bed, I’ve wasted a few hours of another wasted day listening to music.